Don't Have Sex

As a 21 year recent college graduate, I have been mostly exposed to love as a vulgar concept. That is, “to fuck”, “to bang”, “to bone” etc. No one ever spoke of “finding the one”, but only of having fun, one-night stands, fuck-buddies and so forth. During my time at one of the largest universities in the world in the middle of New York City, I was conditioned to think in temporaries. So much so that I failed to see the beauty in love.

The romance of finding the one was dismissed to childish fantasy at the back of my alcohol and party-addled mind. Friends taught me that boys were, collectively, assholes. Academia and intellectual discussion taught me that I was a confident, independent, feminist from the 21st century who should recognize that men were only good for their sperm and propagating the species. And I was. I am.

But was I made so blind by intellectualism that the shy glance across a crowded room that my teenage self would have thought romantic was banished as the creepy advances of a pervert? Was marriage really just an outdated concept that was invented to make sex more socially and morally acceptable? Is every single thing we do eventually just about physical pleasure?

Love is not about politics or thought or cynicism. It’s about opening yourself up to the possibility of sharing your life with another person and making it count twice as much, not diminishing it by shutting yourself off every time you fathom the slightest bit of emotional discomfort.

It’s about being open, vulnerable, ready.

So don’t have sex. Make love.

(from Post Secret)